It’s time to talk – At Liz Claiborne Part 1 – Kristin’s Krusade

It was very early in the morning when I sat down to speak with Bill Mitchell. But even at what many deem and ungodly hour, I could see that Bill was focused and driven. The most unfortunate part of our meeting is that his focus and drive come from a place of deep pain and loss. Bill and I met at the Liz Claiborne “It’s Time To Talk” event. His daughter Kristin had been murdered by her boyfriend on June 3rd, 2005. Bill was a victim of this crime that started out as abuse, and escalated to murder. And now it is his mission to spread awareness and lessen the number of victims murdered and victims left behind to mourn.

As is common in abusive relationships, Kristin’s boyfriend became more possessive and controlling as the relationship progressed. I asked Bill if he had an idea as to what was happening. He told me he thought the relationship was strange, but really thought it wouldn’t last. Even Kristin’s friends were telling her that he was no good, but she continued on with him. There is no way of knowing now why she did, or if she was planning on leaving, but her last bit of resistance to his control may have been the trigger for his last heinous act. Her last text message to him was “You are being ridiculous. Why can’t I do something with my friends?” Hours later, she was dead.

I asked Bill, how would he advise parents raising children today to avoid the awful loss he has? He told me he normally is asked what he would do differently, and his usual answer is nothing. He didn’t know any better, there was always a feeling of “this will never happen to me.” And in the end, the answer is always awareness and education. Parents should be alert to the signs of abuse; the slow separation from friends and family, the increased controlling behavior, and so on. I would venture one better and say parents should be alert to the seduction of an abuser as well. If your daughter is courted by a boy that tells her he “loves” her too soon, and wants to be with her all the time, red flags should be flying at full mast and an early intervention and delicate conversation should be had.

I wished Bill the best with his mission and felt the pain in my heart for him, but more so the fear that any of my daughters could be Kristin one day. I endeavor to keep my awareness high, and do what I can spread it to those I touch. I keep my daughter’s keenly aware of what is acceptable and is not when it comes to the treatment they receive from others. I also work to raise a son that understands the value of women in his life. But in the end, raising children never ends and it is always a white knuckle event.
Protect your daughters with knowledge and self esteem, educate your sons about love and respect and God Bless you all.

Kristinskrusade.org