Thursday, November 5, 2009

I Stand Alone - Far From The 'Round The Way Girl

One of the running themes of my life have been “I stand alone.” There has almost always been something to set my apart from the pack. I am the tallest in my family, setting me far apart from my much shorter South American and Caribbean cousins. Aside from my milk white mother, I am the lightest and most resistant to tans as well, not only setting me apart from my family that is filled with beautiful skin tones ranging from café con leche to a rich Indian red, but from a Hispanic community that generally recognizes their own by the skin tone and features I never inherited. In my childhood Italian neighborhood, I was the lone Menudo fan in the midst of an entire population of Michael Jackson fans.



As a very proud and deeply rooted Hispanic, I don’t know that I can adequately express how frustrating it is when other Hispanics don’t recognize my ethnicity. Now, I can understand under most circumstances no one is going to pick out the tall, white girl as the girl who goes home to chuletas and platanos. But when I’m reading the Spanish paper, or at the Spanish mass and they turn to me to politely force the best English they can to communicate with me, I wish I didn’t stand alone so far. How I envied the colors and features of my cousins and even my own siblings, who tan so beautifully. How I wish I could look less like a “white girl” and more like a “’’round the way girl.”



I’d love to know, are there others out there that stand alone like me? What are your feelings and thoughts?

4 comments:

  1. Great article! I feel the same way when people assume I must love Italian food! D'AH!!!! Love ya, oh tall one!

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  2. Good stuff (i.e. writing style and topic). The same can be said for the opposite side of that spectrum. I have an aunt and a sister who blend in with the Black community seamlessly. Upon identifying themselves as Dominicans the immediate retort is, "Let me hear you speak Spanish." I never really thought about it in the way that you describe it here, however. I guess I always thought those who aren't immediately recognized as part of the ever so diverse blend of the Latino community had the upper hand in a way, a secret identity of sorts. But on the other hand, maybe the idea that it is somewhat of a "secret" to the outside world is precisely what makes it so lonely. Definitely food for thought.

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  3. I, too, am whiter than I am Latina...people think my Mexican mom is Japanese. My gringo Dad, oddly enough, is often considered the Latino in our family. For me, the fun starts when the Latino/a I'm talking to hears me bust out with fast and furious Spanish. There's generally laughter and a hug before the exchange is over. I love how warm the Latin culture is, and it's sometimes fun sneaking up on someone who has no idea...!

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  4. this shouldn't matter, you are what you are and everyone one is beautiful in their own way whether or not u have stand out features. I am italian (i tan beautifully and im white so dont let your light skin get u down)and my boyfriend is dominican and can be mistaken for black if your not so familar with dominicans or your typical hispanic look.

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